Amy Mantis


How Did I End Up Here?

October 4, 2013

What a difference a year makes.

This time last year, everything was different.  My band was different, I had a different apartment, my age was different, my day-to-day life was different, my desires were different, just about everything was different.

I recently worked on a project that forced me to connect the dots from where I’ve been to where I am.  Some were obvious, but a lot weren’t.  I was able to connect everything but it still didn’t seem entirely plausible.  In some cases I feel like I went from A to like X while skipping the rest of the alphabet.

About a week ago I was having dinner with a family I babysit for.  There was some big news announced and as I was sitting there, the father joked, “Amy, I bet you never thought you’d witness this.”

I laughed and said, “I was just thinking, ‘How did I end up here?’”

His wife joked, “I ask myself the same thing every day.”

We all laughed,  but I wasn’t lying.  I was wondering that and it’s something I’ve been wondering about a lot lately.

I’m 23.  I know this is part of the process.  If things had been different, God knows I wouldn’t be here.  And that’s okay.  But every now and then I wonder what the 13 year old AC/DC-loving guitar-obsessed kid with braces who paid no attention to limits, rules, or what was expected of her thinks of my current self.  I like to think she’d think I’m cool (I did fulfill our dream of going to Berklee, starting a killer rock band, going on tour, and owning a Marshall - a vintage Marshall at that), but I think she’d also have a lot of questions.  The biggest one being how did we end up here?