Amy Mantis
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It's Worth It

January 26, 2013

I’m currently waiting on a call from Canary’s producer.  We have to go back into the studio one last time to do two more guitar tracks - including one fairly epic solo.  Then we’ll be closer to being done with the recording of our next release.

It’s currently 11:05PM here in Boston.  Brian (yes, the same Brian from previous posts) hasn’t called me yet.  His gig gets done at 11:30PM.  The studio is a 30 minute drive from Boston.  We won’t be getting there probably until 12:30AM, which means we won’t start recording anything until 1:00AM.  I was already at the studio today recording vocals (I actually did sing a bit, but most of it was Naomi).  We were all hoping that we would bang out the vocals and the guitars in a span of three hours.  Sadly it didn’t happen, and here I am waiting for this call as I have many times before.  Typically it’s not quite so late.  But we’re on a deadline here and we have to do what we have to do.  And of course I’m the last person that needs to record.  Honestly, it’s easiest if it’s me - I have a car, guitars are easy to transport, I don’t have to worry about my voice sounding tired, I’ve gotten really good at not showing exhaustion in my playing, I have more willpower than most people I know, and I am responsible for much of this. This being Canary.  

I’m not trying to be a martyr.  I don’t like being a martyr.  This is just how it goes sometimes.  This isn’t the first time - and I’m sure it won’t be the last time that I’m saddled with something like this.

And you know, I don’t hate it.  I can’t think of anything else I’d rather be doing than finishing this record or working for Canary in general.

Not sleeping to finish these songs is worth it. (Full disclosure: I AM A HUGE FAN OF SLEEPING.  I have suffered the consequences of not sleeping by coming down with mono twice.  Sleep.  Please.)
Spending the next few hours in a very cold recording studio will be worth it.
All the drives have been worth it.  Drive to sessions and drives to gigs - worth it.
Agonizing over chord progressions and lyrics - worth it.
Lugging gear up and down countless flights of stairs in the cold, the rain, and extreme heat is worth it.

(The only thing that hasn’t been worth it (and this is entirely my fault) - the pity party I give myself sometimes.  That’s never worth it because it doesn’t help.  It doesn’t change anything.)

I haven’t left yet (nor have I heard from Brian and it’s currently11:31PM), I’m already tired.  I’m not sure what I’m going to play or how it will sound.  I know it’s wicked cold out and I’m not looking forward to leaving my sanctuary (I’m currently a refugee - a very high class refugee which is a story for another day),

I know there are people who think I am absolutely nuts to do this, to put up with this.  And I have to agree with them.  But it’s worth it.

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: I would do anything for this band.  Because to me, it’s all worth it.  To be able to create something special with people you love - and to share it - is worth everything.