Amy Mantis
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Concert Etiquette

Last night I went to see Sting and Paul Simon.  It was an incredible show (how could it have been anything less?).  It would have been one of the best shows I've ever seen except for one thing - the people around me were terrible concert goers.

I believe in social manners and I strongly believe in concert etiquette.  I don't drink much as it is, but I never drink at concerts for a number of reasons.  One of those reasons is because I know that after imbibing even the most well-behaved people can get obnoxious.  Hence our first problem: the people to my right were wicked drunk and, consequently, wicked loud.  One woman talked throughout out 95% of the show.

Now if this had been a loud rock show, I wouldn't have minded as much.  But given that it wasn't and also that she seemed to really like both Sting and Paul Simon, the talking got old fast.  Yeah I get it that you wanna talk to your friends, but not the ENTIRE TIME.  Why spend the money on the ticket?  Just go to a bar.  Or stay home!

So excessive talking is a no-no in my concert etiquette book.

For the first hour of the show, the seats directly in front of me were empty which was nice for so many reasons.  Seven songs into the show, a group of four shows up and claims their seats.  Womp womp.  But that was fine - people are supposed to go to concerts.

People are not supposed to text throughout concerts.

I absolutely HATE cell phones at concerts.  I think I took mine out three times last night - once to respond to a friend whom I thought I could pick up from the airport but couldn't and the other times to check the set list (sometimes I like to be surprised, but these guys don't do surprises so I don't care.  Bruce Springsteen?  I never check a setlist during a show - all kinds of surprises).  And the brightness on my phone was all the way off.  I'd ban cell phones from concerts if I could.

Meanwhile, the people in front of me had their phones out THE ENTIRE TIME.  The man in front of me proceeded to show his friends (and I think strangers too) pictures of his last vacation, the woman next to him I think had two cell phones (I saw a Blackberry and an iPhone - I think), and the woman next to her would take a video and send it to her friends, then text about it.

Fact: your video isn't special.  Your friends probably already knew you were going to the show so they don't care.  Just stop.  And taking a video of the screen?  Why?

On the flip side - I love standing up and dancing at concerts.  Both Paul Simon and Sting have songs that make you want to dance.  I don't care if I'm one of six people up and dancing, if I want to dance, I'm gonna dance.  Don't get mad.  First of all, there's nothing to watch (except Vinnie Colaiuta), and second of all, I'm not a giant (I'm just shy of 5' 8").  You can easily see past me.  Sometimes I just can't sit down.  I need to groove!  There's a reason why so many girls dance.  We can't help ourselves.   Bob Lefsetz once said that girls have rhythm in them.  I'd say that's true.  And if "You Can Call Me Al" doesn't make you want to dance, then you are a poor soul and I feel sorry for you.

When you go to a concert, you go there for the music first.  The music is more than enough to have a good time.  Yeah it's cool that you're there with your buddies having a few beers.  But remember that you're there for the music.  And to dance and sing and not talk over the music.

Moral of the story:

- Don't get wasted and be a jerk
- Don't use your phone the entire time (and be a jerk)
- If someone wants to stand up, they have the right to stand up

Oh and a few more things:

- Don't start fights with someone who's actually there to enjoy the show
- Don't start fights period
- Don't get security over someone who's smoking weed (I don't smoke, but I have no problem with anyone who does.  Especially at a concert.  Toke up, man - and pass it around!)

Detour: Figure Skating

Trying to stay on track.  I went out with friends to see the US National Skating Championships tonight.  As a former figure skater (I was never anywhere close to the caliber of the girls tonight), it was a lot of fun to see these young girls compete for a spot on the Olympic Team.  This really has nothing to do with music, but sports and music have a lot of similarities.  (Everything can be related to everything.)

For some, this was their last chance at the dream.  For others it was the first of many chances (there were several 15 year old competitors out there).  You could tell when someone felt great about her performance.  One competitor in particular, Grace Gold, blew the roof off the place.

Scoring in figure skating is different than other sports.  I asked the girl next to me who was a figure skater how it worked and she explained that each element of the routine has a base value and the judges add or subtract points from the base value.  She said a really good score is somewhere in the 60s.  Gracie Gold (very fitting last name) scored either a 71 or a 72!  It was awesome.  She nailed her performance.  It's like when we musicians nail a performance or a recording - we know.  She knew.  I don't think she knew how amazing she was until she saw her score but she had some idea in the moment that she was doing well.

Tonight made me excited for the Olympics.  Two or three of the competitors tonight will be in Sochi in a few weeks.  How wild is that?

Someone Summed Up Boston Really Well

I saw this article on Facebook the other day and it resonated so strongly with me that I needed to reformat it and post it here:

The World According To Boston

By Colin Cowherd
ESPN The Magazine
November 14, 2013

(This story appears in ESPN The Magazine's Nov. 25 QB Issue.)

My parenting philosophy pretty much boils down to this: I love my kids; I tolerate yours. Mine just make common, age-appropriate mistakes -- phases, let's call them -- while your kids are completely undisciplined and probably need counseling. I have high hopes for my kids, and I'll defend them to the death.
Come to think of it, I'm a lot like Boston, the most peculiar and parochial sports city in America.

When I was first hired by ESPN 10 years ago, I requested to get TV ratings for every market for every event, large or small. Immediately, one truth became undeniable: Boston is the most provincial major market in the country. Rose Bowl? Not interested. Indy 500? Crickets. Final Four? Final What? Boston's ratings were a healthy notch below the norm for every major event that didn't include a Boston-area team. The numbers I found most surprising were World Series ratings. You might have seen that Boston led all markets in the audience share for the clinching Game 6 this year. No surprise there. But from 2010 to 2012, World Series ratings in Boston were substantially lower than in most major markets. They were even lower than in many markets without MLB teams.

How can that be? Boston is baseball, right? Nope. It just loves its own kids, and I've come up with two possible roadblocks Boston faces when it comes to caring about anything past its nose:

1. Boston is too smart. An article in Boston magazine titled "Us vs. America," which used polling information from Northeastern University, made the case that Boston is simply different from most major cities. It's more liberal. It has less gun ownership and less violence. Its population is younger, smokes less and works out more. The metro area is home to more than 70 universities and colleges. In addition, Boston is a financial, health care and banking hub. The city is full of educated people who have many interests and the disposable income to pursue those interests. Under that scenario, watching some other city's team doesn't make the cut.

2. History -- and not just sports history. Forget for a moment the Celtics' 17 NBA titles, the Bruins' six Stanley Cups, the coolest ballpark ever built and Tom Brady. Let's talk real history. Sports allegiances tend to emerge around 9 or 10 years old, when kids are aware enough to understand the rules of the games. They also coincide with the time kids begin learning about American history in school. And much of the American Revolution took place in and around Boston.

The Boston Tea Party, the Battle of Bunker Hill, the midnight ride of Paul Revere -- I learned about all of these events at an early age, but they took place somewhere else. But if you're a Boston kid, all of those events were home games. Likewise, many of the names that are synonymous with America hail from the area. Ben Franklin, John Quincy Adams and Edgar Allan Poe provide the foundation, and by seventh grade you're listening to Mrs. Hathaway discuss the Kennedys.

Now, if the seminal events in your nation's history took place in your backyard, you'd probably get the sense that your city is special. And if you spent your entire childhood being told -- directly or indirectly -- that you're just a little bit better than everybody else, wouldn't you start to believe it? Seriously, even when Bostonians vacation, they do it in their backyard. From Cape Cod to Martha's Vineyard, Massachusetts is home to some of the country's most sought-after summer refuges.

Maybe some of this will help explain why most surveys of least friendly cities find Boston near the top. The word "smug" tends to come up. The city sees itself as more important, more informed and more historically relevant. The people who live there consider themselves descendants of American royalty. And in some ways, they're right.

It views itself as different, special -- perhaps even better than you.

And it sees your teams as monumentally unimportant.

I never thought about it that way, but it makes complete sense.  I have always felt that way about sports - why watch if my team isn't playing?  My dad watches any football game on TV and if I'm around I almost always ask, 'Why are you watching?  You don't care about [insert team here].' He'll say it' because he likes the game.  I like the game - I hate the NFL but I do love playing football - but I won't watch any old football game.  I won't even watch the Patriots.  Blasphemy, I know, coming from a native New Englander and a very proud one at that.

But I like a lot more things than sports.  "Boston is too smart."  Ain't that the truth.  Sometimes it's detrimental but on the whole it's awesome.  I love how liberal we are here and our distaste for guns.  And while I am not an uber-wealthy Beacon Hill resident, I find myself enjoying tons of what Boston has to offer aside from its championship teams.

And the history...The history!  No wonder why I find myself becoming more and more obsessed with history.  Wow.  I really didn't put two and two together until just now.  Boston is history more than it is baseball.  Clearly.  It's humbling to live here and to think about how we ended up here.

This might be my favorite part of the article:

Seriously, even when Bostonians vacation, they do it in their backyard. From Cape Cod to Martha's Vineyard, Massachusetts is home to some of the country's most sought-after summer refuges.

I went to Martha's Vineyard for the first time this summer.  Until then I laughed at it because I'm from Maine and thought it was just an island with some beaches that was far away.  The beach is ten minutes from my house in Maine.  Who needs Martha's Vineyard?

I didn't get it until I went.  I totally get it now.  I was there for less than two weeks this past summer and I fell in love.  As much as I'm looking forward to snow I'm looking even more forward to returning to the Vineyard.  I know.  I hate myself for even saying that.  But I cannot wait to go back.  I've been to a fair amount of places in my sweet short life, and Martha's Vineyard is definitely one of my favorites.

Is Boston smug?  That depends on who you ask.  I don't think so, but I'm also practically a Bostonian at this point so of course I don't.  We definitely have a different set of sensibilities than most other cities.  Sometimes we're a bit too puritanical for my liking.  And I'd say we might need to come down off our high horse, but you know whose high horse we're on?

Paul Revere's.

You're welcome.