Amy Mantis
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Twenty-three

July 24, 2013

It’s hard to believe I’m no longer 22.

Several people asked me how old I feel today.  I don’t feel 23.  I feel younger now than I did when I turned 22.  On my 22nd birthday, I had Canary rehearsal.  We had our first show with Naomi the following day.  I wasn’t consciously stressed, but looking back there was some stress.  There had to be.  I was still heartbroken and trying to move forward while patching up the pain.

Eventually we got there.  We got real close to some really cool things.  Then Naomi quit.  Alex and I were very angry.  I was really angry.  I’m not an angry person and that took its toll on me big time.  Then Brooke came along and a lot of it went away.  Between Brooke and our road trip to SXSW, March was as awesome as February was terrible.

So now I’ve turned a new leaf, let go of a lot of anger, and feel a lot better.  I untied myself in a lot of ways in the past year.  Especially recently.  I used to be so focused on getting it right the first time.  Well, I clearly didn’t do that so it’s time to embrace the mess and stop longing for what I can’t have because I don’t have a band of high school buddies.  It’s a different world, and in order to succeed, I have to do different things.

And I’m okay with that.

I think 23 is going to work out just fine.