32 Lessons on the Way to 32

I turned 32 two days ago and I wanted to do what Ryan Holiday does on his birthday and share whatever bits of wisdom I have accumulated in my brief time on this planet. 

• Boundaries are hard.

 

• Everything takes even longer than you think.

 

• Healing happens in unexpected ways and places.

 

• Images and visualization enhance the outcome but do not create the outcome.

 

• “How am I complicit in this?” is a great question.

 

• My favorite genre of books is Young Adult fiction. Particularly fantasy. Don’t let the intended age deter you from wonderful adventures.

 

• Never tell someone “but they’re your family.” Their family may be incredibly harmful to them.

 

• Even when I think I know someone’s circumstances, I don’t KNOW their circumstances because I am not them.

 

• The less you judge others the happier you will become.

 

• The first time you do anything is the toughest. It gets easier the more you do it. Be it the gym, saying no, posting something for people to see - the first time is the hardest. If you do it once you can do it again.

 

• Inner work may never be recognized or acknowledged by those around you. And that’s okay - it’s inner work, not outer work. It will undoubtedly benefit your outer world but whether someone notices or not doesn’t matter.

 

• Sleep is the foundation for good health.

 

• Everyone needs help. The greatest athletes in the world have coaches. Why are we any different?

 

• Your work will not always speak for itself. You have to speak for it. At least in the beginning. (Thanks, Austin Kleon, for that pro tip.)

 

• There is a difference between being selfish and self-protective. Conflating the two is easy. Undoing that knot requires compassion and trust. (And a great therapist.)

 

• Your dreams will change, and that’s okay. I used to take umbrage with Springsteen’s line from "Two Hearts,"
  
  Someday these childish dreams must end
  To become a man and grow up to dream again
  
  It is childish for us to think that we won’t evolve and that our desires won’t evolve with us.

 

• No one can tell you how to grieve.

 

• It really doesn’t matter what you do as long as you aren’t hurting people because 99% of people aren’t paying attention to you 99% of the time.

 

• Nothing is worth losing your enthusiasm.

 

• For the motorcycle riders out there: if you misjudge a corner, you will die.

 

• You can say no. You probably should say no to most things.

 

• Find people who embrace your weirdness. You will carry each other through.

 

• Life is so much more fragile than we realize. Do it now. You might not get the chance later. I told a friend I would take his mom to a Red Sox game sometime. She suddenly passed away and I never took her to a game. I regret that.

 

• If you want to do something, do it. You don’t need to find someone to go on that trip with you. You have yourself. Go.

 

• Water is the elixir of the gods.

 

• When talking to kids, do your best to get on their level. It makes a difference.

 

• You don’t ever have to “outgrow” something you love because it’s “too young” for you.

 

• Tip your barista.

 

• There is no ethical consumption under capitalism. That doesn’t mean we can’t be kind.

 

• You cannot have an informed opinion on everything and acting like you do is a disservice to yourself because you will learn something if you say, “I don’t know about that, can you tell me more?”

 

• You’re gonna be afraid. Might as well do it anyway.

 

• Things will not work out exactly as you planned so you better enjoy the ride​

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Thanks for reading! Here's to 32 being the best one yet